We all love movies.
We all love mysteries right? Mysteries that involve a murder, and a creepy murderer living among our everyday lives, played by a character actor that can pull off the performance. Mysteries that have Hollywood heavy weight Peter Jackson attached to direct and produce.A film on the verge of great entertainment and suspense is on the brink.
Enter Mark Wahlberg.
Your new Mark Wahlberg mystery is .....
A story about a brutal murder of a 14 year old girl and a creepy neighbor that commits the crime in a cornfield. We are still on track for a very good movie, eh? Enter Marky Mark. Your film now has a father that can't believe his daughter is missing. Cue MW's dumbfounded look of confusion from The Happening. You know the one where he is trying to figure out the script, act really hard, figure out how to act really hard, and act very poorly, all at the same time. Yes that look. So now you really know and believe that this guy has lost his daughter. Remember, this is one of the worst experiences some one could ever go through, so why not use a thespian that showed the depths of Chris "Izzy" Cole in Rock Star. (only time I was slightly entertained in that movie was when the chick was peeing standing up.) Now is when things get better. Walhburg is a deep father, that bonds with his daughter through the only practice one can get the attention of a teenage girl. Building model ships in bottles. (Lord knows that's how my dad and sister spent countless hours in our basement, building something completely useless. I wasn't allowed to come down and help because I was a boy.) Well we sure know that those little bottles won't be destroyed when Walhberg acts like he, "just can't take it anymore." Mark you worked so hard on them, you lost your daughter, don't lose your dream of becoming a professional model ship in a bottle builder. Because if that happens, then she died for nothing.
- Mark Walhberg having an Oscar Nomination is worse than ... you guessed it. Having your daughter murdered by a creepy neighbor in a cornfield.
Wait, strike that reverse it. Mark Walhberg having an Oscar Nomination is worse than watching a movie starring Mark Walhberg about having your daughter murdered by a creepy neighbor in a cornfield.
