Garrett Wittels - a debate for real sports and bryant gumbel

A question for the ages.  Should going to prison for rape officially end one’s hit streak?  This is a question that we are all going to be asking ourselves over the next few months.  FIU infielder Garrett Wittels currently has a 56 game hit streak heading into the 2011 season.  He is just two hits shy of former super star Robin Ventura’s Division I record of 58 back in 1987.  (Venture is more famously known as the brother of Jesse, and uncle to Ace.) Wittels season will kick off February 18th with three nationally televised games.  In comes the rub.  Wittels has been charged with raping a 17 year old girl while vacationing in the Bahamas.  Whoops-e-daisy. People have told me that the Bahamas have kind of a rape feel to them, but I wouldn't know, I’ve only been to Disney World. Now unlike Garrett, I have a strict code I live by.  If I have a hit streak I don’t rape.  Call me old fashion, call me superstitious, call me a prude, call me what you will, I just cannot and will not mess with a streak.  But maybe Garrett doesn’t normally rape during a hit streak either.  Maybe Garrett got caught up with a rapey kind of crowd; lord knows that can happen too.  Two of Garrett’s buddies have been accused of rape as well.  One tomcat has been accused of raping two 17 year old girls.  I won’t use his name because HE doesn’t have a hit streak.  Now Wittels’ father, Michael the Orthopedist, says that the two girls claimed they were students at the University of Arkansas.  Wait a minute here, two girls?  If my math serves me correctly, that is three dudes, two girls and 4 charges.  Oh my word the train has entered the station. 

                Back to the point at hand, should the streak come to an end if Wittels goes to prison? (Maximum sentence in the Bahamas for raping on a hit streak is 7 years.)  Say Garrett does 4 years for good behavior, and comes back to FIU ready to continue his quest for the record.  He gets a hit in his first 3 games and breaks the record.  Does he now hold the record?  Is there a rape asterisks?  Will the NCAA have a rapless record of 58, and a rape included record of 59?  I think the Garrett’s rape record will undoubtedly be more respected as the tougher of the two to be broken.  I mean the moon and stars really need to aligned for another player to hit in 59 games with a rape sentence in a foreign country shoved right in the middle of it all. Sorry Cal Ripken, looks like you don’t have the toughest streak to break now do you. 

just put her down already.

Don't you think it's time? many of you have had pets, and you all know when it's time to call it quits. shouldn't that same sentiment come into play with celebrities? as good citizens of this plants, lindsey lohan serves no purpose to us, other than an ultimate gimme in any death pool.  (if she goes before april, mwp wins $250). if anything she's a drain on our society, using up tabloid pages that could be covered with pictures of leo's latest sexual conquest. instead of masturbating to leo's wonderful life full of yachts, anal bleached high class hookers and world domination, we are stuck with pictures of lohan's "fair" skin. in this context,"fair" = aids lesions like tom hanks had in philadelphia. hollywood is for beautiful people and maggie gyllenhaal.

now throwing a booze fest in your room at rehab is kinda awesome. it's not cool when it's done by a total w.o.a.l (waste of a life). if you told me that robert downey jr had hookers, blow, midgets and balloons fill his room at betty ford this christmas, i would start shooting H between my toes in an attempt to get an invite.  that fake lesbian for attention gets entirely too much coverage in the blog world.  we can all be writing about the kick ass shit. instead everyday i have to read about how this hatchet wound got wasted again and lost another job.  that's the average american.  MWP doesn't cover the average americans!  this is the last you will hear about old yeller from MWP, well at least until they put her down.