Say it ain’t so. Ashlee (wow 2 e's, how indi) Simpson has filed divorce papers, and will be separating from Pete Wentz. Remember when everything on the planet was about the Simpson sisters? What a sad time we lived in back then. We hadn’t yet figured out that crazy housewives from around the country were much more
interesting than two dumb middle class sisters. The day came back in 2007 when everyone realized
that they couldn’t sing or lip-sync very well for that matter, act, dance, talk, spell, not gain weight
excessively, voice opinions that anyone cared about, whistle, juggle, think, give men boners, jump,
wave, blink, and chew to name a few.
We heard for about a hot minute that the fat one was getting married to a former NFL player that
was as good at football as Jessica was at singing. Awesome. Now we here that Ashley is leaving her
husband, the wonderfully feminine Pete Wentz. But those two kids were crazy about each other, what
went wrong! They had Valentine’s Day plans for Christ’s Sake, and now this? The dozen members of
the Ashley Simpson fan club are going to be just devastated. The two early 2000’s stars have a 2 year
old child together, aptly named Bronx (oh you celebrities and how you so falsely show how creative/
artsy you are through your children’s names.)
Quick question, what’s the over/under on this divorce being a product of, “No one’s talking about me!”
Well I’ve talked about it today, but I’ll forget about you tomorrow Simpson sisters. Or at least until one
of you leak a sex tape.
