Wow. I mean really wow. Today I read a story on CNN.com that blew my mind worse than a pron star blows your .... you get the idea. Usually I'm a reader of the Onion.com, but as of late, CNN has been so great that I really can't tell the two apart. With stories like this one I visit CNN before I even go to the Onion. The stories are twice as funny when you know they are true, and this one takes the cake.
Apparently a California man attempted to sell his 14 year old daughter to an 18 year old man through a third party. Then when the man didn't pay up, the girl's father called the police to tell them that the man didn't pay up. Well that wasn't a very good idea was it? If you're a father looking for some extra cash as well as free time and want to sell your child, I can tell you what the going rate for a 14 year old girl is these days. For the ability to walk around his house naked and masturbate constantly to Internet porn without having to pick up his daughter from school, he was to receive $16,000, 150 cases of beer, 150 cases of soda and Gatorade, and several cases of wine and meat. Does anyone think that's a pretty specific list? I mean how did the negotiations go while they were trying to nail this deal down? "I'll give you 100 cases of beer .... No way! Make it 150 and some meat and then you have a deal." This story has to just blow your mind. To sell your daughter is one thing, but to map out demands as nuts as these is another. But then again maybe the guy is playing it smart. With these demands he can use that in his temporarily insanity plea in court.
But the more I'm writing I'm starting to think this isn't that bad of a deal. I mean we all know what pain in the asses 14 year old girls are. And we all know how sweet 16 grand, a shit load of beer and meat is. I bet this dude was planning a monster bash at his new man cave. The teenager is gone, he's got a shit ton of beer and food, why not throw a sweet ass par-tay? This dude might have it more together than any of us think. He might really be on to something. It's like the first time everyone went nuts about the idea of a black people having their own television station (BET). 40 years ago it was something that people didn't think about and much more so, not even talked about. 50 years from now we'll be calling this man a pioneer. I'm not surprised that there are not Internet sales sites for teenagers all across the web by now. This is an untapped resource.
I'm building a page as we speak - www.youneedateen.com
Apparently a California man attempted to sell his 14 year old daughter to an 18 year old man through a third party. Then when the man didn't pay up, the girl's father called the police to tell them that the man didn't pay up. Well that wasn't a very good idea was it? If you're a father looking for some extra cash as well as free time and want to sell your child, I can tell you what the going rate for a 14 year old girl is these days. For the ability to walk around his house naked and masturbate constantly to Internet porn without having to pick up his daughter from school, he was to receive $16,000, 150 cases of beer, 150 cases of soda and Gatorade, and several cases of wine and meat. Does anyone think that's a pretty specific list? I mean how did the negotiations go while they were trying to nail this deal down? "I'll give you 100 cases of beer .... No way! Make it 150 and some meat and then you have a deal." This story has to just blow your mind. To sell your daughter is one thing, but to map out demands as nuts as these is another. But then again maybe the guy is playing it smart. With these demands he can use that in his temporarily insanity plea in court.
But the more I'm writing I'm starting to think this isn't that bad of a deal. I mean we all know what pain in the asses 14 year old girls are. And we all know how sweet 16 grand, a shit load of beer and meat is. I bet this dude was planning a monster bash at his new man cave. The teenager is gone, he's got a shit ton of beer and food, why not throw a sweet ass par-tay? This dude might have it more together than any of us think. He might really be on to something. It's like the first time everyone went nuts about the idea of a black people having their own television station (BET). 40 years ago it was something that people didn't think about and much more so, not even talked about. 50 years from now we'll be calling this man a pioneer. I'm not surprised that there are not Internet sales sites for teenagers all across the web by now. This is an untapped resource.
I'm building a page as we speak - www.youneedateen.com
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