Bad Movie Monday

Today you can find me at Denvertvguy.com for BMM, also known as bad movie monday. We will be blogging live as we watch the smash hits Yeti and Small Town Conspiracy. So join in the fun and follow the great tales of movies that never made it.


Denvertvguy.com (go to it, you know you want to)

Think about today

Because it's Holocaust Remembrance Day.

How do we not get this day off?

Do Jews, ah .... celebrate this day?

So many questions about this holiday.

The Lock - Red Stripe

Red Stripe - A Thought

Once in awhile you'll meet a guy who fancies himself a connoisseur of beer. Good for that guy. Lord knows there is more to life than 6-month old, lukewarm Natty Light that's not even worth the can housing it. The problem I have is not with the guy who enjoys a nice Rogue or Bell's rather than a Bud Light. My problem is with the guy who refers to himself as a beer aficionado based on his admiration for Red Stripe. Do you know this guy? Beware. I am sure he lurks about your inner circle, educating everyone on the superior taste of Jamaica's worst export.

For those of you who have had the displeasure of tasting this awful beer, I apologize on behalf of all of humanity. For those of you who haven't, let me offer a comparison to its taste. It is the functional equivalent of squeezing the saliva out of a Jerry Tarkanian gameday towel and mixing it with a yeast infection cooked by a stripper who's been on the pole for three days straight. Red Stripe isn't a beer, it's a disease. It is a terrorist threat to this country everytime it is allowed in our borders. "Red Stripe! It's AIDS in a bottle! Hooray, AIDS in a bottle!"

Why I Hate Greg Paulus

Greg Paulus is awful. I mean really awful. I hate Duke. He played there and was nothing better than 2nd team all conference. He did nothing to help Duke during his time there. I really consider him a poor man's Steve Wojciechowski. Short, can't score, white, and annoys the shit out of everyone. Now He's heading to Michigan to play football. Is Michigan this bad? Yeah I know he played high school football and was awesome. Two things. That was high school. James Vanderbeek was a great high school QB in Varsity Blues. 2) Funny face Paulus is only 6'1". Not too tall for a Big Ten QB. Average height of a lineman in college football is 6'6". It's a good thing that we won't ever see Paulus. Michigan is well on their way to another fantastic season I must say.

Well my hatred for Michigan is so strong that maybe this is a good move for the Wolverines and Paulus. I just wish Ryan Reynolds was still on the buckeyes, he would choke the shit out of Paulus.

Picture of the Day

Remember Problem Child? Didn't that movie rule? The answer is yes. A child going around hurting as many people as he can physically and emotionally is hilarious. Plus his voice was the coolest slash scariest thing ever. So here he is, Micheal Oliver (then and now)

Farrah Fawcett Just Got a Whole Lot Sexier

We all know her as our favorite angel. Most of the 30 somethings that live with their parents call her the first girl they ever, "you know what", to. I think she still has it and she is doing something to stay freakishly thin I must say. Then I find out that she has cancer. Then I think to myself, ok that's not really a cool way to stay thin Farrah. Celebrities are so sick that they will contract Cancer to stay thin during an age where we are obsessed with our chicks looking like the sluts of Auschwitz. So now I'm thinking she isn't cool at all and is not thaaaat hot. (but kind of lying to myself thinking that I'll tap that, Cancer isn't an STD. And if it were, who cares. Fucking Farrah Fawcett would get you so many free drinks.)

Then I find out this news: Farrah Fawcett has anal cancer. Now I don't know what to do. Part of me thinks that's kind of hot. Did she get that from too much butt sexing? If so, I'm a full 3 inches right now. On the other hand, maybe anal cancer isn't sexy. I mean some cancers aren't sexy at all. But if she has anal tumors, then those are like pleasure bumps right?

I'll see everyone in Hell, I know.

Cooper's Help During a Difficult Time

Cooper’s tips to free drinks

1.) Fat chicks (I know this is an obvious one).- You can usually find a crowd of them and dazzle them with two or so jokes and then the phrase “lets all do a shot!” Done. Make sure its something sugary like a soco and lime. They cant resist that. But get the hell out after that. Their hips may get bigger and you will be trapped by a wall of cellulite and personal-shame.

2.) Find an acquaintance at the bar.- You know, not a close friend of yours but someone that you have hung out with like twice. Find out what this person is drinking and order off his tab. Order TWO and point at this person (make sure the bartender sees you point to him and get “approval” to use his tab). Then give him one of the drinks. He will think you got him a drink and will have already lost the drink count in his head. This can keep going all night but it is IMPERATIVE that you get this person really drunk.

3.) I have only resorted to this in really dire financial times (a lot in college). Go to a place with 2 dollar beer specials. Walk in with around 4 singles. Order a beer near a spot at the bar that already has dollar tips on the ground. Put a dollar on top of that pile and take two dollars for every dollar you put down. They’’ think you are just taking back some of the “over-tip” you gave them. You can keep drinking all night.

4.) Find girls who are 6’s or 7’s. DO NOT pay attention to their hot friends. They will gladly buy you a drink if you pull my “hey, can I buy you a drink…….oops wait one second I’ll go grab cash out of the ATM..ahhh, that’s a long line though.” They won’t want to (A)-stop the attention that they are getting or (B) seem as though they care about money. 6’s and 7’s just wanna help out

The Lock

I've come up with a name for my buddy that's guest writing for me. We at MWP are calling him Shallow HAL

Obesity - A Thought

You know how sometimes (frequently, for others) you clock in at the bar and get a good bender going? I'm talking about those days when you sit down and really get to work. You're not busy fraternizing or even leaving your stool for that matter. You know how sometimes you get that barmaid that decides she is going to play hero and tell you "you've had enough?" Then all of a sudden the party's over, you end up passed out at about 7:00pm because you were enjoying yourself too much.


Shouldn't we apply the same rule to the obese? I mean, if we are going to let bartenders cut you off after "you've had enough," shouldn't the waitress be able to cut off Mr. two-appetizers-main-course-and-a-small-animal-to-go? The guy comes in and orders a meal. After ravenously consuming it, he orders a second meal. When he reaches the dessert menu, I think the waitress is well within her rights to tell him "you've had enough." Seems logical, to me at least.