A-ROID

Ok, well we all already hated A-Rod. I mean the dude was an ultimate douche on a day in and day out basis. Now that he has tested positive and admitted to steroid use, My hatred has grown to monumental proportions. When I first heard about A-Rod testing positive, the first thought that actually went through my mind was he tested positive with hepatitis. I mean he was with that Petra dish of disease Madonna. She has to be the only person in the world to sleep with both Vanilla Ice and crazy ass Sean Penn. When I heard that that wasn't the case, steroids were the next thought.

Isn't this great when you think about it? He has to be the most fragile athlete that has ever walked the earth. With this coming to light, he's probably going to lose his mind through out all of this. What makes it all the better is that the other 103 players that tested positive, will never have their names released. Isn't that a swift kick to the pants for A-Rod?

All I have to say is that if Ken Griffey Jr. ever tests positive, baseball is going to lose this guy as a fan.

COOPER'S VOICE

I am a Notre Dame fan and root hard for Brady Quinn. I respect his athletic ability as well as his overall ability to scoop up chicks AT WILL. A friend of mine just asked me who will be Brady Quinn’s first celebrity girlfriend now that he is the starter for the Cleveland Browns and this got me thinking: Does Brady Quinn nail a celeb chick just for the sake of hotness or does he nail a celeb chick for straight–up Darwinism?



Brady Quinn could get in the pants of pretty much any young chick in Hollywood. His movie star looks, awesome athletic prowess and Notre Dame-educated mind make him irresistible to any woman that walks this earth who is not attracted to Ellen Degeneres (and even there I believe that he can convert some of them back to our team). He has no doubt been TEARING through the Cleveland bar scene since the draft and could show up to bars just wearing a tube sock and leave with 2 chicks on each arm in under 5 minutes. He's been slinging webs all over the women of the mistake by the lake. However, I think that this may actually work AGAINST him as far as getting it on with actresses/models. Things have been to easy for him and he can always find a HOTTER chick, so I think at this point he will just look for a better GENETIC match. AJ Hawk of the packers has been sticking it to Brady Quinn’s sister for years and they will undoubtedly give birth to an amazingly athletic child. Brady is not one to be beaten and surely sees this as a competition. He will have to find a woman that is an attractive Olympic high jumper or somebody like that to breed a super athlete that can challenge AJ Hawks offspring. I recommend Maria Sharapova or Jennie Finch. These girls are amazing athletes and have hotness to compliment their skills. Jennie Finch may be the better candidate because she obviously has arm strength because she is a pitcher. If you add that to the firepower that is Brady Quinn’s right arm you are looking at the most powerful arm in the history of man. She might be married to a MLB pitcher, but he is sub par at best on the field and in the sack. Once Jennie looks into the brilliant eyes of Quinn, her panties will instantly dissolve right off her body. Because that's what Brady does, he's a panty killer. That kid will be handed the Heisman as soon as he leaves the womb.

PB HOUR OF POWER

As much as I loath Coop being correct on virtually anything, i have to give it to him. Pat Burrell came through last night in the biggest game to ever be played at CBP. His homer in the 6th gave the Phils the lead and eventually the victory. Now Burrell needs to get some sleep on tonight's red eye to LA, so when he arrives at LAX he is refreshed to hit the town and slay some vag. He needs to find Mia Hamm (Nomar Garciaparra's Wife) meat wallet, and take a one way ticket to poon village. By the way, with the Babe's help the Phillies can play .500 baseball the rest of the way and they would go to the World Series. To get some great stuff on game one check out the 700 level.