COOPER'S VOICE

I am a Notre Dame fan and root hard for Brady Quinn. I respect his athletic ability as well as his overall ability to scoop up chicks AT WILL. A friend of mine just asked me who will be Brady Quinn’s first celebrity girlfriend now that he is the starter for the Cleveland Browns and this got me thinking: Does Brady Quinn nail a celeb chick just for the sake of hotness or does he nail a celeb chick for straight–up Darwinism?



Brady Quinn could get in the pants of pretty much any young chick in Hollywood. His movie star looks, awesome athletic prowess and Notre Dame-educated mind make him irresistible to any woman that walks this earth who is not attracted to Ellen Degeneres (and even there I believe that he can convert some of them back to our team). He has no doubt been TEARING through the Cleveland bar scene since the draft and could show up to bars just wearing a tube sock and leave with 2 chicks on each arm in under 5 minutes. He's been slinging webs all over the women of the mistake by the lake. However, I think that this may actually work AGAINST him as far as getting it on with actresses/models. Things have been to easy for him and he can always find a HOTTER chick, so I think at this point he will just look for a better GENETIC match. AJ Hawk of the packers has been sticking it to Brady Quinn’s sister for years and they will undoubtedly give birth to an amazingly athletic child. Brady is not one to be beaten and surely sees this as a competition. He will have to find a woman that is an attractive Olympic high jumper or somebody like that to breed a super athlete that can challenge AJ Hawks offspring. I recommend Maria Sharapova or Jennie Finch. These girls are amazing athletes and have hotness to compliment their skills. Jennie Finch may be the better candidate because she obviously has arm strength because she is a pitcher. If you add that to the firepower that is Brady Quinn’s right arm you are looking at the most powerful arm in the history of man. She might be married to a MLB pitcher, but he is sub par at best on the field and in the sack. Once Jennie looks into the brilliant eyes of Quinn, her panties will instantly dissolve right off her body. Because that's what Brady does, he's a panty killer. That kid will be handed the Heisman as soon as he leaves the womb.